Do YOU ever have one too many espressos, a whole bag of potato chips, or maybe daily masturbation? These sensations you are chasing are pointing you to something. You are not a subhuman for chasing sensational experiences, please don't beat yourself up that is not the point.
I can tell you a million stories of metaphorically punching myself in the guts before someone else had the chance to. I was my biggest bully. It's a loop of self-shame that can be unwound. It is necessary actually for you to let go and create momentum for your evolution. That is a separate topic though.
When we seek these sensational experiences, our soul is dying of thirst to drink the nectar from the energy of SOURCE.
You can pray and wish all you want but if your body is not attuned to the still point within that allows you full access to SOURCE energy then you will be in the outer circles of reality.
Those circles give rise to distortion, even in the slightest manner.
Those centrical circles that surround the still point of the bullseye within are ripples in your energy field that draw to them certain experiences like a magnet. They make it harder to drop effortlessly into meditation, into the moment, into laughter, and deep deep authenticity.,
The center of the bullseye is your true humanness.
It just is. It is a channel and vessel for the creative energy of SOURCE to flow through. That is what you hunger for. That is the cure to ALL DISEASE, ADDICTION, BOREDOM, DEPRESSION, and ANXIETY. You name it.
But how does one arrive there?
That is the million-dollar question and worthy pursuit, maybe the only pursuit that is worthy. Step 1 at least.
To be honest, so much of it has to do with the wring of your human form. Yes, your Nervous System. If you are shutting down in Dorsal or running in Sympathetic you are not able to settle in the center of the center. Ventral will get you there. It is from the center of the ventral that your body will flush out all of the debris it has been holding on to, old beliefs, emotions, stories, etc. When our attention is on the outer we are more likely to be pulled out of the ventral.
We have to have some of our attention on the outer, that is the paradox. However, like the breath, half on the outer, and half on the inner. Automatically they can be seamless without thought but still happening. Have masculine, half feminine. There are many ways to look at it.
My favorite line from a Mexican Medicine Woman is, "don't believe everything you think".
We are layered in belief systems and we hold onto them with fury. Fuck it. Sorry, I swear. What are we holding on to?
The only way to the center is to surrender, let go and allow.
I get it. It is not that simple. That is where I come in and the work I do. I have spent time on each of the circles of distortion myself. I now the maps, the terrain, the way in and the way out.
I also know there is a current that will reveal when the boulders are out of the way. This current is the juice, the new instructions for earth come from here. Present moment instructions.
For today try this:
1. Commit to acknowledging your thirst for the Source of Creation.
2. Eat and drink in a manner that feels balanced and in devotion to the main intention.
3. Talk to the earth, talk aloud about the burdens you carry, ask for help, and allow yourself to let go of your own beliefs, best of all play with the invisible forces of creation, and make friends with them.
4. Be a friend to them yourself.